The Waterloo Rap

My wife and I were invited to a gloriously extravagant party recently, when we were invited to turn up dressed in the style of  ‘the French Revolution or Les Miserables’. We were also invited to submit a ‘limerick or clerihew’ on a relevant theme. My limerick grew, acquired an accent as English as my red tail coat, and became a rap. So here, for your gentle amusement, is

The Waterloo Rap

In eighteen hundred and then fifteen                                                                     That’s way before young Vic was Queen                                                                      We Brits marched South, tooled up to fight                                                           The Grand Armée in all its might.                                                                           See, we love French cheese, we love French wine,                                               We’d even love their Josephine,                                                                                But killing a king, now that ain’t right,                                                                    And égalité gave our toffs a fright.

So Wellington, yes, he De Man                                                                              Who’d stop the Frogs if anyone can,                                                                        Led me an’ Fred an’ all our crew                                                                            Along the road to Waterloo,                                                                                     And dissed that Boney                                                                                          Saying “Honi                                                                                                                 Soit qui mal y pense,”                                                                                              Which sounded good, but don’t make sense.

They came on hard, they came on tough                                                                Till Boney finally cried “Enough!”                                                                          And after a hell of guts and gore                                                                          There weren’t many left from the day before                                                         So I shared a pipe with a French Old Guard                                                         And told him “Man, you tried us hard                                                                    But killing a king, see, that’s a crime, and                                                               You can’t kill George, ‘coz that sod’s mine.”

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Alex Chiltern

Writer and amateur historian, meandering around early 14th century Europe and occasionally known to visit the real world.

3 thoughts on “The Waterloo Rap”

      1. I’ve been a bit reclusive of late, whilst knuckling down to the publishing project, but have surfaced again now it’s out there at the mercy of the world. I do hope everything is going well with your book. You know how much I love your writing.

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