My wife and I were invited to a gloriously extravagant party recently, when we were invited to turn up dressed in the style of ‘the French Revolution or Les Miserables’. We were also invited to submit a ‘limerick or clerihew’ on a relevant theme. My limerick grew, acquired an accent as English as my red tail coat, and became a rap. So here, for your gentle amusement, is
The Waterloo Rap
In eighteen hundred and then fifteen That’s way before young Vic was Queen We Brits marched South, tooled up to fight The Grand Armée in all its might. See, we love French cheese, we love French wine, We’d even love their Josephine, But killing a king, now that ain’t right, And égalité gave our toffs a fright.
So Wellington, yes, he De Man Who’d stop the Frogs if anyone can, Led me an’ Fred an’ all our crew Along the road to Waterloo, And dissed that Boney Saying “Honi Soit qui mal y pense,” Which sounded good, but don’t make sense.
They came on hard, they came on tough Till Boney finally cried “Enough!” And after a hell of guts and gore There weren’t many left from the day before So I shared a pipe with a French Old Guard And told him “Man, you tried us hard But killing a king, see, that’s a crime, and You can’t kill George, ‘coz that sod’s mine.”